Think about the last time you encountered a bully. What was your response? My guess is, like me, your first response probably wasn’t to pray. It isn’t always easy to respond with the kindness that Jesus teaches. For many of our kids, bullies are a common challenge at school, on sports teams and in our neighborhoods. We have the opportunity and the challenge to model Christ-like kindness by responding to the bullies in our lives the way Jesus taught us to, and then lead our children to do the same.

Take a few minutes to talk with your kids about any bullies they may know at their school. How do they treat others? Ask your children why they think these bullies treat others the way they do. Together, think of some kind ways to respond to bullying.

There is something about kids that challenge every ounce of patience we have. Even the most patient of us can find ourselves at our wits end because of the kids. I am shocked at how flustered I get during the mere process of getting ready to leave the house. I am a mild-mannered person who somehow transforms into a yelling, screaming, crazy woman as kids slowly meander around the house with one shoe on, or suddenly get hungry as we are walking out the door. There are countless situations like this that we face daily. We can take solace and comfort knowing that we are all in this battle together. We are all encountering these challenges and frustrations, and we are all aspiring to grow in our patience to provide a peaceful and God-honoring home for our families. Let’s keep perspective that these frazzled moments are normal and natural and in the midst of the daily grind God is alongside us and waiting to help us. Let’s be a people that are quick to call on Him and help point one another to the peace and patience and comfort that only He can supply.

During a quiet family time, talk about the crazy moments around the house. Point out times when you get upset and impatient (maybe leaving for school in the mornings. getting homework done or getting ready for bed.) Talk about your desire to make those moments more peaceful and talk about ways the family can help one another be more patient during those hot-button times. Ask for each family member to suggest one way to prevent those times from becoming too intense. Suggest a code word that only your family knows that acts as a reminder to keep perspective when you observe one another losing patience.

Patience. Even the word causes frazzled parents to feel guilty or frustrated. It is one of those elusive qualities that you can’t will yourself to have. And as much as we try to learn to have patience, practice doesn’t make perfect. So if we can’t make ourselves be more patient, or work hard at learning to be patient, how do we capture this needed yet hard-to-find character trait? By leaning on God. Just like we cannot force an apple tree to produce apples or an orange tree to grow peaches, we cannot force the fruit of the Spirit into our lives. We must lean on God and let Him fill us. While we cannot make ourselves more patient, we can practice the discipline of asking God for help before we are in the midst of our craziness. Start your day with a simple prayer asking for His patience in whatever the day might bring. He is faithful and will show up.

Ask your kids how they feel when they are waiting in line at Disneyland or Sea World? Ask them if they get anxious or frustrated at how long they have to wait sometimes. Talk about that normal feeling and how God wants us to respond. Connect the dots with them that even though we all feel like that sometimes, it shouldn’t affect how we treat other people.

When life becomes difficult, we can lack peace in our hearts. This causes our immediate relationships, including our relationships with our children, to be affected. During difficult times we may feel miserable and less at peace. Sometimes our actions may give our children mixed messages. They may begin to internalize the tension and react rebelliously in stressful situations. Everyone becomes tense when life gets hard. 

Matthew 15:18 (NIV) says “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart.” Think about what’s in your heart. Ask God for peace, one of the fruits of the spirit, to enter your heart and trust that he will provide. God has this amazing power to give gifts through people. As you embrace the gift of peace, your actions reflect that. This gift will then trickle down into the hearts of your children. They will experience God’s peace through your actions.

Take a moment during the day to do activities with your family that will help you de-stress. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Take your children to the park and play with them. Give your child a hug. Teach your children a fun old game, the silence game, where no one talks or makes noise for a few minutes. You all sit at the dinner table or in the living room and relax. During the silence you smile at each other. Close your eyes and relax. At the end of the silence thank God through a short prayer for the peace and tranquility in your home.

You are in your home. The noise level is high. You have one child crying and another child scattering all the toys over the floor. Peace at home. Yea right! The meaning of peace radically changes the day you become a parent. You may ask yourself, “How can a harmless creation of God take away my peace?” The bible mentions peace is a fruit of the spirit. Peace is a gift from God. Stop and ask God for peace during the chaotic times. Take a minute to receive God’s peace amongst the chaos. This will help you feel less anxious and more serene. Take a moment to teach children to stop and pray in the middle of hectic and out of control moments. The type of peace they yearn for can only come from God. So ask him for it.

Ask your children, “Are there times you feel like everything around you is just crazy? Or you feel so confused and can’t think clearly?” Show them how to take a moment during the day when things seem out of control to stop and pray. Pray for peace, calmness and tranquility. Discuss what calm means for your children. Later in the day ask how praying helped them.

It’s important to remember when we make mistakes and ask for God’s forgiveness, God’s grace is what sets us straight again. When we allow our children a do-over, we are nudging them along in the right direction. We can praise them when they do. A pat on the back, a hug, words of encouragement and a high five are ways to let them know, “You’re doing great”.

Parents, think about what your child has improved on. Maybe they’ve stopped whining, or they’ve begun doing chores without being told, or they’ve improved their school grades. Take a few minutes to let them know how proud you are and how they’re a much more responsible person now. Remind them how awesome God is to grant us do-over’s to allow us time to get it right and grow closer to Him.

Rules. They are everywhere. There are rules at home, rules at school, even rules at grocery stores. Rules are established to keep us safe and out of trouble. In fact, God gives us rules to help us because He loves us. It’s up to us to follow and obey them. God gives us rules so we may grow closer in our relationship with Him through trust and obedience. When we train our children by setting up household rules, we are establishing a relationship based on trust and obedience with them.

Talk to your children about the importance of rules. On the road today, ask your children to think of a very important rule either from home, school, or church. Tell them when you get to a red light, they all get to share their rule. Then when the light turns green, have them explain why that rule is important and what could happen if they didn’t follow that rule. After everyone’s shared, explain that by obeying rules, they’re obeying God. And this shows God how much we trust and love Him.

God creates each one of us as unique individuals, blessed with our own special gifts. As parents, we have the opportunity to help our children to discover their uniqueness and teach them to value their own special gifts. As they appreciate their gifts and abilities, they will grow confident in God’s love, and in return, they will be able to recognize and appreciate the gifts of people around them.

On your way to school, talk about how neat it is that God gave everyone special gifts.  Ask your children to name one special gift they think they have. Next, ask them to pick out a special talent or ability of a sibling or family member. Then challenge them to give a compliment to another person at school today.  Maybe a classmate has really pretty long hair, or maybe a friend is really good at playing a sport at recess. Before bedtime, ask how they did with their efforts. Learning to give a compliment not only builds others up, but teaches our kids to recognize how God loves and works in other people as well.