Category Archives: Kids

Middle Ground

20 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by in Family, Kids, My Story, Parenthood, Thoughts

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These days I have been working hard to try and find some middle ground.  For years even before we had kids I tried to talk and come up with a plan to have a middle ground for raising our kids.  And for years I have tried to work hard to be better with my temper and things and to be more calm about things so that we have a better middle ground. 

Well with all of this work, years, and things tried and gone by failed I just don’t know what to do.  Things for years I have been able to keep to myself and deal with but these days with having kids and a family it is harder to hide things.  It isn’t that I am not trying to keep it to myself but well people feel it, know, and can tell that something is up.

It hurts when your mom starts to notice and worry about you and hopes that things will be OK.. She knows I am strong and will fight and take care of things but she wants to let me know she is there for me.  It is one of the first times in my life that I have felt good about my mom being there for me and supporting me.

I want to raise my kids like my dad raised me with love but with strenght and discipline.  He was a great dad and guy.  He was a great example and I want to be an example like that to my kids.  I want to be strong and to be there for them and to love them always.  He was like a big teddy bear but you respected him.  He was a high school teacher, football coach, and so much more.  Everyone loved him and remembers him.  And yes that is what I live up to and want to be like a loving, caring parent, but one that my kids know when they have done wrong.

But I worry because in our house it is divided and where I try to show my kids one way my husband is different.  And the kids know it and sometimes take advantage of that. It is really hard when my little one throws a fit in public or something to see how he handles it. The kids are one way for him, one way for me, but together it is a mess at times.  And sometimes when things get really bad and he is trying to deal with it but it isn’t going well he takes them to me and says now you have to tell your mom what you did.  And he turns it then to me to finish it and deal with it.  It is hard when this happens because then what is this telling the kids?  I get stressed, embarrased, want to cry, and so many feelings it is just hard to deal with.

I want a middle ground but I don’t know what to do to find one.  I know I am trying really hard to have great kids but I know this is just really hard.

Bla Bla Bla

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by in Family, Kids, My Story

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I confess: I don’t listen to every word my children say, and the reason is simple. They talk too much. And they talk about stuff I don’t care about.

For some kid-related topics, I can’t even muster up fake interest, like PC, Nintendo or PS3 games. When Evan plays some of his games and he’d say, “Guess what? I raced this guy and I was going so fast. . . ,” I’d stop her right there. With a shake of my head and the traffic-cop “STOP!” signal, I’d say, “Uh, sorry there darlin’! Don’t take this personally, but I hate your video games. I love you, of course, and am interested in anything you have to say about virtually anything other than your video games . . . school work, creative projects, philosophical musings, friend dilemmas—anything real.”

They’ve all heard variations on this speech many times. At this point, they police each other. Evan will say, “So in Tron. . .” and off he’ll go, but only for a minute or two, before Evan says, “Dude! Look who I’m talking to! Mom doesn’t care about Tron!”

And it’s true. I don’t. I care about their real lives . . . at least, theoretically, but I have to say that sometimes their real lives are boring too. There was a time last year when Evan talked endlessly about his friends. Evan would walk through the door after school, Aaliyah trailing behind him. Evan would say, “Oh my Gosh, she’s making me crazy!”

Overall though, I do care about their real lives . . . just not all the time. Sometimes they have exceptionally bad timing. Last night at 9:00, my neck was hurting and I am starting to get a cold and was trying to get everyone ready for bed, when Aaliyah said, “Hey! I like that story about princesses mom.” That is how she asks me to tell her a story.

I’m proud to say that I could respond honestly: “Yes, I remember!”But I told her that it was late and mommy hurt and it was time to go to bed.

Twenty minutes later, Aaliyah asked if she was a princess? I told her of course she was. And she then ten minutes later was finally asleep.

But you know what? They don’t always listen to me either. So there.

Projects for kids

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by in Kids, My Story

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So my son is in the 3rd grade. And I know that the education system is hurting and that kids need to grow in education.  But I am just wondering how fast and who decides?  My son has been given a report for the past few weeks to work on for Social Studies on the state that they choose.  They have to basically build a travel brochure with the information they find. 

Well all the research you need to do, the pictures you have to find, and the preparing of this project this isn’t a 3rd grade report I was saying.  Well it comes to find out by another parent that this use to be a 5th or 6th grade project just a year or 2 ago.  So why did they decide that younger kids could do something like this?   I don’t know.  I know my son has a hard time picking out his clothing and finding his shoes so to do all the research was like doing a root canal.  It was amazing. 

Now as a parent I am behind helping him and things but come on this was out of control.  There is no way that I want to spend this much time on a project and need that much Advil, glasses of wine, or shots of vodka to get through something like this.  This is the third grade for crying out loud.  If you want them to do stuff like this well don’t you think you should teach them.

They are starting to use a thesaurus in class and well my son thinks he can change all words.  But trying to explain to him that you can’t change the name of a mountain range in a state for his report just because he doesn’t know the word or can’t say it doesn’t mean you just go look up a new word and make one up.  I was not about to create another launguage just so he could be happy with the words.  And I can’t count the number of times my eyes also rolled into the back of my head either.

So I am at this point glad that this report is done finally and out of my house.  I don’t want to see another one for a while.  Because who knows what fun will happen next.

Message from Santa

12 Monday Dec 2011

Posted by in Kids

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I totally love this and have done this for my kids for the past 2 years.   It is the Portable North Pole or PNP.  Go to www.pnp.com and create a personalized video from Santa Claus for your love ones in just a few easy steps. New Portable North Pole 2011: the elves’ machine will help Santa decide if you behaved or not!

In a daze or lack of sleep??

10 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by in Kids

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Have you ever wondered how it is some days you function and get things done? Well I do. We have our kids in activities they want to do & love everyday of the week but sometimes I just don’t know how to fit all the things in. Its almost like a puzzle. I get so tired some days but I have to keep going. And not even coffee or things helps anymore. I just go & go naturally til I crash. And it isn’t bad I’m not saying that.

Now my mother-in-law tells me from time to time that I have the kids in to many things but I remind her that the kids have picked these sports and activities.  We don’t push them to do these and well we use to be this active when we were kids.  But I don’t argue with her I just am sweet and let her know that some how we make it work.

But that is the thing that amazes me.  At the end of the day how do I fit it all in?  It is crazy.  The homework, the study, research, the cooking, cleaning, appointments, etc.  It just all amazes me.  And well I am not a mom that runs on 5 hour energy drinks, coffee, or other things.  I just wake up with natural energy and keep a pace some how.  But some mornings I feel a little slow.  Like all my thoughts and plans just haven’t connected yet.  I am such an organized & planning person so to have this slight disconnect from time to time drives me nuts.  But I am sure that it maybe has to do with lack of sleep.  If only I could sleep in one day.

The mind of a tiny person

24 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by in Kids

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I just love the mind of a tiny person. It changes in a flash. They can be talking to you about one thing and then flash it is on to another thing. They can switch gears so fast and multi task so quick if you don’t keep up you will be lost in the dust. Their little minds are just taking in so much information and processing it I just love to watch and see it all processing. And to have a conversation or negotiation with them is crazy. They are genius. Wow the little minds are amazing little sponges. Some people don’t give them that much credit or realize how much and how fast they are really taking it all in. But they truly know way more than you think.

Why do you think that kids these days are having computers, gaming systems, cell phones and more at such early ages. And why do you think that kids are getting into sex and drugs before they even talk about it in schools. Kids are learning and growing up way to fast. Kids are seeing things like this is what I have dreamed about my whole life. And well they have only really probably understood it for a few years. And were as an adult we have had years to soak it all in and realize things. Yes I think that we should let our kids know it is OK to slow down a little and that there is a lot of learning to do over their whole lives. But as a parent you don’t need to slow down your kids growth to do that. You both can grow together, learn together, enjoy life together.

I love my kids each and every day and love each thing they learn and do. I love watching them and helping them grow. But I am not a parent that wants to stand back and think I can be their best friend or that I will know everything. What I need to do is make sure they have the tools to grow and know the next steps. I don’t want to keep things from them. So giving them the opportunities and love to grow and shine is what I can to. Because the mind of my tiny people is so fun to watch and learn from. Kids are just so amazing and I am so blessed to love kids and have a heart for them. I am so blessed and thank God everyday for the 2 that I have. They are both miracles.

I Want to Be A Super Mom

24 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by in Friends, Kids, My Story

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I want to be a Super Mom.
I want to be the Momma who finds the perfect balance
between being your parent
and being your friend.

I want to be the Momma who says yes

when you ask me to go out and ride bikes, scooters & skateboards
or to build sand castles with you at the beach,
or Ooo and Ahhh over your latest pop shove it trick or amazing art project.

I want to be the Momma whose not afraid to make messes,
get my hands dirty,
or create a bit of chaos
all in the name of having fun with my little ones.

Then when you grow up and tell childhood stories to your own little family,

I hope that you will have fond memories
of my after school goodies,
my knowledge of all your sports, 
and the fridge I made sure was always overflowing snacks for you and your friends.

Because, thanks to this Momma,
I know how much the little things make a difference.