Category Archives: My Story

More than just a mom???

17 Friday Feb 2012

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A few times just this week I have been asked the question about what I do.  And well for most that isn’t usually a hard question to answer.  But for me it for some reason is. 

When I finished school I had my share of good jobs.  I started my path in l was going to be an interior designer.  But then as I had to take some classes in computers I found I was really good at it and back then even started to help teach some of the classes because the teacher was taking night classes just to teach the class.  And I was just picking it all up fast and naturally.  So then I started to find myself in to the computing field.  I loved it.

Although later I got the chance to stay home and start a family.  So I have been a mom to two great kids.  Through the years though I have tried to do a little something for me again.  I tried to do Creative Memories scrapbooking but it was just to time consuming, took up to much space, and it cost to much to stay in as a consultant for the just little bits you sold.  Then I have done MaryKay.  I like MaryKay because it is a good product and even if I don’t want to sell to much I can just be a personal use consultant.  So this business is felxable for me and I like that.  I have also tried Advocare.  They are a good company.  I like them too just like MaryKay because I started it to be flexable and personal use but I can make it so much more if I want to.  I also found and LOVE a company called Boresha Coffee.  They are just an amazing company that is changing my life.  Their coffee and tea is a fat burning coffee.  Yes I said it is FAT BURNING COFFEE!!! I just love that I can loose fat just by having a cup of coffee.  I love it!

On top of these opportunities I also blog, am totally into social networking, and many other things.  I have so many interest like shopping, cooking, traveling, etc. that I just love that makes me well rounded.  So I think yes I am more than just a mom but it is sometimes hard to just tell someone what it is that I do and what I am.

Things that make me go hummm

28 Saturday Jan 2012

Posted by in Girls Corner, My Story, Thoughts

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So I have a friend that I just don’t understand sometimes.  I mean I am pretty black and white when it comes to thinking but well he is a ton of grey I think.  He is still single at my age and I have known him for ages it seems.  But well he does some crazy things sometimes.  For one he met up with a girl that he found somewhere I forget and she has a kid.  He found out about the kid after a couple times together.  And well after those first couple times he knew he didn’t want to continue things with her but well she didn’t get the clue.  Well for over a year now she has text him and things telling him things like she is moving, what she is cooking for dinner, all sorts of stupid stuff.  But the really stupid one is that she as been out of state for months now and she just asked my friend if she could move in with him for a little bit til she found a place.  Come on lady he doesn’t text you back and doesn’t like you why try to have something that isn’t there.  And he has nicknamed you to all his friends “crazy lady”.

I also wonder why people who are young or well friends of mine that well I see that don’t have insurance or just don’t get sick very often not know how to take care of themselves.  If you have a cough that goes deep into your chest you don’t fix it by taking Tylenol PM.  That will just make you sleepy and if you can sleep through all the coughing.  Why don’t people just go to the store and talk to the pharmacist even at Rite Aid, Walgreen’s, Wallmart, etc. and they are happy to help you understand what is out there on the shelves that can help you.  That is what they are there for too so ask.  Or ask a friend that you trust.  But come on you aren’t going to get better if you don’t treat the cold or symptoms.  It drives me nuts to see my friends do things like this to themselves.  And to see even my husband try to take Gatorade to rehydrate himself after throwing up.  You don’t want to use Gatorade because it has sugar.  Use things like water, propel, and other things to get fluids into you again. 

Middle Ground

20 Friday Jan 2012

Posted by in Family, Kids, My Story, Parenthood, Thoughts

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These days I have been working hard to try and find some middle ground.  For years even before we had kids I tried to talk and come up with a plan to have a middle ground for raising our kids.  And for years I have tried to work hard to be better with my temper and things and to be more calm about things so that we have a better middle ground. 

Well with all of this work, years, and things tried and gone by failed I just don’t know what to do.  Things for years I have been able to keep to myself and deal with but these days with having kids and a family it is harder to hide things.  It isn’t that I am not trying to keep it to myself but well people feel it, know, and can tell that something is up.

It hurts when your mom starts to notice and worry about you and hopes that things will be OK.. She knows I am strong and will fight and take care of things but she wants to let me know she is there for me.  It is one of the first times in my life that I have felt good about my mom being there for me and supporting me.

I want to raise my kids like my dad raised me with love but with strenght and discipline.  He was a great dad and guy.  He was a great example and I want to be an example like that to my kids.  I want to be strong and to be there for them and to love them always.  He was like a big teddy bear but you respected him.  He was a high school teacher, football coach, and so much more.  Everyone loved him and remembers him.  And yes that is what I live up to and want to be like a loving, caring parent, but one that my kids know when they have done wrong.

But I worry because in our house it is divided and where I try to show my kids one way my husband is different.  And the kids know it and sometimes take advantage of that. It is really hard when my little one throws a fit in public or something to see how he handles it. The kids are one way for him, one way for me, but together it is a mess at times.  And sometimes when things get really bad and he is trying to deal with it but it isn’t going well he takes them to me and says now you have to tell your mom what you did.  And he turns it then to me to finish it and deal with it.  It is hard when this happens because then what is this telling the kids?  I get stressed, embarrased, want to cry, and so many feelings it is just hard to deal with.

I want a middle ground but I don’t know what to do to find one.  I know I am trying really hard to have great kids but I know this is just really hard.

After surgery

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

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Well I had to have surgery this year the first week of Jan to remove an ovarian cyst.  We found out about the cyst in 2010 when I doubled over in pain one day. I had tests and ultrasounds run to check on the size and it was large and kept growing.  So they decided it needed to come out.  They wanted to take it out in December but I asked if I was going to die from it and if it could wait til Jan or something because I didn’t want to do it during the holidays.  So we waited.

So come the first week of Jan I went in for surgery and in hopes of an easy surgery to do an arthroscopic surgery to remove the cyst and maybe the ovary too.  But that isn’t what could happen.  They got in there and because of to much scar tissue from my 2 c-sections and hysterectomy just a few years ago it made for a more difficult surgery.  It took over an hour and 20 min for the doctor to cut all the scar tissue from all of my organs (stomach, intestines, bowels, tummy wall, everywhere).  I feel like a train hit me or a rotor rooter went through me.  It hurts so much. 

When the doctor was finished with the surgery he came out the see my husband and my mom and told them about the surgery.  He also told them that I must have been in a lot of pain for a long time and just covered it up very well,  It was a long and rough surgery. I am going to have a rough recovery.

So far coming home though I have been trying to recover and relax. I know I hurt and am in pain but well I have a family that needs things.  It is hard to be home and well I sometimes think that just because I look good even without makeup or take time to put it on, brush my hair, put clothing on that people think that I am OK.  Well those things to do sometimes to do my hair and get dressed take me hours now not just a few minutes.  But what I need people to remember is that I am hurt no matter if I get dressed and ready for the day.  I don’t want to look like trash or smell when my friends or family come to see me so I am sorry for cleaning myself up a bit.

But I am in no way ready to function at top speed.  And sometimes I even think my own family forgets this.  They think I can do the dishes, laundry, clean up, put things away, go shopping, you name it just like I use to.  We I am sorry but I can’t.  It hurts me and I am not doing well.  But so far everyone thinks oh she is out of the hospital and looks good or almost back to normal so she is fine.  Well I am sorry they didn’t cut my face off they cut my tummy off instead.  And it really hurts.

I have had do the best I can as a mom and get my kids clothing and have my little one help herself get dressed.  I have had to do my best to pick up and clean when and where I can.  I have had to take shifts at folding laundry.  I have had my son help me bring the laundry up and down and get it started.  But I have to switch machines.  I have had to sweep and mop.  Thank goodness for a robot vacuum and a little hand held vac. 

I am getting by trying to sit as much as I can, taking a chair outside to watch my kids sledding, and trying to rest but be apart of my family.  And I am taking my pain meds.  So I will keep being strong and making it through this and I will recover some how some day.  I just hope people know that I am human and have pain too and am doing the best I can.

Christmas vacation

17 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in Family, My Story

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Well I grew up as a kid going to our family cabin just after Christmas. We would ride on sleds, snow mobiles, x-country ski, you name we tried it. It was fun!

I grew up wanting to pass those memories down to my kids. And for a few years we got the chance to. But the past couple years and most of my daughters life I haven’t been able to do this for my family.
Well my in-laws haven’t been well. The past few years things have really been getting worse. It is hard because they are both so young but they both are medically not good. Last Christmas we had to put my mother-in-law in the hospital. That was really scarry for my kids.

This year we have delayed coming down for Thanksgiving because she had been in the hospital again. So we came down at Christmas instead. Things just aren’t so wonderful. It isn’t the Christmas I wanted for my family & my kids.

It’s hard when your son is telling you that he remembers things we use to do and asks why we don’t anymore. When he asks why his grandparents are sick. It makes me want to just cry. But i feel so much in the middle because I want to do these things with my family and give them great memories. But i want my husband to be with his parents too. Plus, I have such a big caring heart I just hate seeing them like this. I know they need it & enjoy seeing the kids. I just wish sometimes we didn’t have such a big honey-do list and a wish list that was so huge. But that is what we have to deal with & I hope someday our kids know why & the choices we have had to make are all for them & family.

Trying not to scream

22 Thursday Dec 2011

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Today it is just another amazing day in my house.  My 3 year old wants the tv on but she won’t stay in the room to watch the movie or show that is on.  But the second you try and turn it she runs in the room and starts to throw and amazing 3 year old fit.  Oh yeah it is awesome. 

And then she has tried to love and squeeze the dog so much that he has tried to hide from her.  She at one point almost pushed him down the stairs trying to hug him as he was pusing away from her.  I had to pull the gate closed at the top of the stairs and look at the dog saying this is for your own safety.  Oh my it is just crazy the things you have to do to keep everyone safe.

Also, people in my family are asking what to bring for Christmas Eve dinner.  Well I have sent an email and also sent one on facebook.  It is the same list every year of what we eat and what to sign up for to bring.  It doesn’t change so I don’t know what the issue is.  But I guess I just wasn’t clear.  I guess I will have to find another way or do something different cause well this list of traditional food isn’t working I guess.

And for the family too that don’t tell you what they want for gifts or just ask for gift cards.  Well I am sorry I am not doing gift cards.  I a not going to wait til the last minute to get you what you finally think of.  Because running all over town or trying to get somthing shipped like over night well just isn’t going to happen.  I am not going to pay the same to ship it here as the gift I was going to get you just because you waited to tell me til the last minute.  I think that is just nuts.  You will just get the random thing that I got for you or the As Seen On TV item that I saw on late night tv or at the store and thought oh how amazing that looks & cool it will be.

I am trying to get the house prepaired, the menu planned, everything in order and ready for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day.  All in all while still trying to have fun and fit in some sort of tradition for my own family.  Yeah it is crazy and I think I found my first grey hair.

Bla Bla Bla

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by in Family, Kids, My Story

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I confess: I don’t listen to every word my children say, and the reason is simple. They talk too much. And they talk about stuff I don’t care about.

For some kid-related topics, I can’t even muster up fake interest, like PC, Nintendo or PS3 games. When Evan plays some of his games and he’d say, “Guess what? I raced this guy and I was going so fast. . . ,” I’d stop her right there. With a shake of my head and the traffic-cop “STOP!” signal, I’d say, “Uh, sorry there darlin’! Don’t take this personally, but I hate your video games. I love you, of course, and am interested in anything you have to say about virtually anything other than your video games . . . school work, creative projects, philosophical musings, friend dilemmas—anything real.”

They’ve all heard variations on this speech many times. At this point, they police each other. Evan will say, “So in Tron. . .” and off he’ll go, but only for a minute or two, before Evan says, “Dude! Look who I’m talking to! Mom doesn’t care about Tron!”

And it’s true. I don’t. I care about their real lives . . . at least, theoretically, but I have to say that sometimes their real lives are boring too. There was a time last year when Evan talked endlessly about his friends. Evan would walk through the door after school, Aaliyah trailing behind him. Evan would say, “Oh my Gosh, she’s making me crazy!”

Overall though, I do care about their real lives . . . just not all the time. Sometimes they have exceptionally bad timing. Last night at 9:00, my neck was hurting and I am starting to get a cold and was trying to get everyone ready for bed, when Aaliyah said, “Hey! I like that story about princesses mom.” That is how she asks me to tell her a story.

I’m proud to say that I could respond honestly: “Yes, I remember!”But I told her that it was late and mommy hurt and it was time to go to bed.

Twenty minutes later, Aaliyah asked if she was a princess? I told her of course she was. And she then ten minutes later was finally asleep.

But you know what? They don’t always listen to me either. So there.

Ten Things I Really Want for Christmas

20 Tuesday Dec 2011

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  1. I want to one-up the my-life-is-perfect Christmas card lady, the one who gets her cards out first, complete with staged photo of her hellion children and a one page, rhyming letter about how spectacular they all are.
  2. I want to make cookies with my kids.  They just want to make the things to put candies on or sprinkles on and make a mess and leave.  I am left to make all the traditional cookies alone for hours and days.
  3. I want to give my children the perfect gift so that they’ll be occupied for hours, all the while being educated.
  4. I want the toys I get to not require me to cut 50,000 wires and require a battery supply equivalent to a year’s college tuition.
  5. I want my tree to look fancy, like one from a magazine with bows and big lights instead of the tossed together tree I have now because we don’t have time and the kids want to decorate for 2 seconds.  I want a fully decorated tree that is put together with love as we all sit beside it decorating with music and having family time.
  6. I want to have the glory of saying, “I’m done with shopping” in early December.
  7. I want to rub the aforementioned into someone’s face, particularly someone like the person I morph into in mid-December, when the crunch is on and suddenly I’m buying As Seen On TV gifts for my in-laws at the drug store because in my holiday frazzled mind, it’s really a great product.
  8. I want to make seriously perfect holiday memories.  Perfect decoration, family gatherings, tradional foods, tradional activities like (cutting a tree, seeing santa, pictures, riding in the car to see lights), reading The Night Before Christmas by firelight, matching pajamas, the works.
  9. I want the world to travel to me (or not?) on Christmas day, so we don’t have to say to the kids, “Great!  New Toys!  Now put them away and go put on itchy clothes because we’re going to spend the rest of the day eating and riding in the car!  Yay!”
  10. I want to fall asleep in wrapping paper with perfectly frosted cookies smeared on my face and even a little bit on my matching pajamas.  And then I want to take a picture and put it on next year’s card.  That’s right.

No Real Italian Bakery’s In Seattle

16 Friday Dec 2011

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How is it possible that there is not one real Italian bakery in such a good size city. I mean I know there are few of kinda here but the rest are back in Jersey & NY it seems. I would bet someone could make a killing opening one. No cannoli, no sfogliatelle, no cookies, no nothing.  There’s gotta be an Italian baker around here who wants to do a public service to the greater Seattle area and bring back dessert!

The only one we have really is Borraccini’s just south of downtown.  Of course there are other bakery’s and they might make things but well there isn’t an italian bakery like you find in NY in Little Italy or in Jersey.  It is sad that such a big city with such a melting pot of people has such a huge gap like this.

Projects for kids

13 Tuesday Dec 2011

Posted by in Kids, My Story

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So my son is in the 3rd grade. And I know that the education system is hurting and that kids need to grow in education.  But I am just wondering how fast and who decides?  My son has been given a report for the past few weeks to work on for Social Studies on the state that they choose.  They have to basically build a travel brochure with the information they find. 

Well all the research you need to do, the pictures you have to find, and the preparing of this project this isn’t a 3rd grade report I was saying.  Well it comes to find out by another parent that this use to be a 5th or 6th grade project just a year or 2 ago.  So why did they decide that younger kids could do something like this?   I don’t know.  I know my son has a hard time picking out his clothing and finding his shoes so to do all the research was like doing a root canal.  It was amazing. 

Now as a parent I am behind helping him and things but come on this was out of control.  There is no way that I want to spend this much time on a project and need that much Advil, glasses of wine, or shots of vodka to get through something like this.  This is the third grade for crying out loud.  If you want them to do stuff like this well don’t you think you should teach them.

They are starting to use a thesaurus in class and well my son thinks he can change all words.  But trying to explain to him that you can’t change the name of a mountain range in a state for his report just because he doesn’t know the word or can’t say it doesn’t mean you just go look up a new word and make one up.  I was not about to create another launguage just so he could be happy with the words.  And I can’t count the number of times my eyes also rolled into the back of my head either.

So I am at this point glad that this report is done finally and out of my house.  I don’t want to see another one for a while.  Because who knows what fun will happen next.