I

I admit it finally after years, finally recognizing it, and counseling that I am a people pleaser. This is something that is a hard thing for me some days to wrap my head around. You see I see myself a a strong person a fighter one that can handle things on my own.  So why do I need people to be happy with me and what I do?

Well for me this is a big issue.  I am really concerned what people think of almost all that I do, look like, and everything.  So this makes me try my best at everything.  I guess I have always been like this.  I can look back to even in High School and I thank my lucky stars my dad was a teacher because I could use his closet in his room and not my locker.  I would bring extra outfits to school because I didn’t know if I was wearing the right thing.  I wanted to be in fashion, have the right style, color, something that someone else wasn’t wearing, whatever it was.  I don’t know why I just wanted to be prepared.

I do this with my cooking and taking care of my home and family too.  Some days I work really hard at all these things so that I do so good at them but really I just want to make everyone happy.  I could be hurt, sick, tired but that would not matter because I have to please everyone.  I am always thinking and looking out for everyone in my life.

I know this is an issue for me and well I am trying to let go and work on this.  It is hard for me.  It is hard to feel like I am letting someone down or not pulling my weight.  I know this isn’t a bad thing and that I need to think of myself for once in my life.  I never have but I think it is time to learn.